Draco VS Pete VS Shakespeare
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: Hermione’s house was on fire. How did this happen? Because of Draco, Shakespeare and some evil cookies...and you can't forget Pete. DMHG fluff...crayness...randomness. No OC...if you read the fic, you'll knwo what I mean by 'Pete.'


Disclaimer: The HP series and Shakespeare are not mine…

A/N: We were watching 'Shakespeare in Love' in English…I was soooo bored. And this resulted. I's very random....and crazy...and there really isn't a plot.

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Hermione's house was on fire.

How did this happen?

Because of Draco and Shakespeare.

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Rewind:

"You should read some more books Draco. All you do is watch TV," Hermione said from her place at the kitchen. She was placing some cookies in the oven.

"Hmm." Draco replied, just ignoring her and focusing his attention on the screen.

"Something like…" Hermione started listing off some authors, finally comeing to the one that had puzzled Draco for forever, "Shakespeare. Jan-"

"Wait….What did you just say?" Draco asked?

"Shakespeare." Hermione said. Draco looked at her in astonishment. She knew who Shakespeare was? Why didn't he know? Why did everyone have to mention him? Why? WHY?

Draco got up off the couch and headed over to the kitchen table.

"Who is Shakespeare?" Draco yelled to the world at the top of his lungs. Sadly, the only one in the room was Hermione, so she would be the one to answer his question. But then again, that was a good thing. No one else would have seen Draco standing on a table and declare that he didn't know who Shakespeare was.

Hermione, as it was, looked very…Amazed. Shocked. Dazed. Which quickly turned to being annoyed. Her stance was one that clearly expressed one message-'WTF!' Her hands were on her hips and she watched her boyfriend intently, her eye twitching in irritation. Draco could almost swear that he saw a vein popping out of her forehead like in animes.

"Who was Shakespeare?" Hermione questioned, her voice low and lethal, "WHO WAS SHAKESPEARE? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO SHAKESHEARE IS?" Her voice rose in both volume and lethalness as she went on, making Draco very close to peeing in his pants in fright.

"Umm…" Draco's voice trailed off as he racked his mind for something to say. It was futile because Hermione's anger was already unleashed at full force. He looked down at his toes, fiddling with his hands and not knowing what to say. He felt like a little kid being scolded by their mother- except for the fact that he was being scolded by his girlfriend instead.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT?" Hermione yelled. Upon seeing the frightened look on Draco's face, she sighed and lowered her volume, mumbling more to herself than to Draco, "And you call yourself a romanticist."

Draco's head snapped up as the words reached his ears and he suddenly grew a backbone. "Why would not knowing about this Shakespeare fellow not make me a romanticist?" He defended himself angrily, his mind thinking back to those candlelight dinners and moonlit walks on the beach. He went on, "He's just some guy…unless he's a girl…Shakespeare is a funny name. It could be a girl's name too…"

The frequency of Hermione's eye twitching increased dramatically. "He was not a girl. Shakespeare is his last name. His first name was William."

"OOOOOOOOH Then why don't you call him that? Then I won't get so confused," Draco pointed out, furrowing his eyebrow in confusion.

"Oh for the love of Pete! Shakesp-"

"Who's this Pete guy you're talking about now? I thought we were talking about this William guy. And why do you suddenly love him? What happened to me?" Draco whined with a pout, internally smirking. Making Hermione angry was so fun!

"DRACO! Don't act like an idiot," Hermione exclaimed in exasperation.

Draco pouted again. "What? I just asked you a question." Hermione looked upward at the Heavens for help. No such luck.

"An idiotic question. You know that it's a muggle expression. I explained it to you 3 months ago, when you thought I was involved with some guy named pete and I had to sit you down and explain everything."

Realization dawned on Draco's face, the memory jumping up to the forefront of his mind. "Oh yeah…I remember that. So what about this Shakespeare fellow?"

"He was a muggle poet and play writer. One of the greatest who ever lived. No THE greatest who ever lived." Hermione announced, walking over to her bookshelf. Her eyes roamed over the titles, which were in alphabetical order by author. "Shakeseapre…Shakspeare..Ah! Here!"

Hermione pulled out a thick, heavy tome titled The Works of Shakespeare. She handed it to her boyfriend, who was rambling something along the lines of "He's a muggle? Why would I want to read a muggle's work?" She sighed, rolling her eyes, and placed the book on Draco's lap.

The blonde just stared at it in shock, acknowledging the fact that there was now no more feeling in his legs. "I have to read this?"

"Yup," Hermione replied with a wicked grin on her face.

"But-"

"I'll give you a reward…" Hermione offered.

Draco's eye widened, a grin appearing on his face to match his girlfriend's. "Oh. Will you give me an advance?"

"Maybe…" Hermione whispered into Draco's ear.

Draco leaned into her mouth, feeling her warm breath on his lips. Hermione smiled and placed a small kiss on his lips, then got up and tried to run away. The key word being tried.

Draco grabbed her wrist before she could. He smiled and pulled her back to him. "Oh no you don't." And, thus, he started a heated make-out session.

How did the fire start? They left the cookies in the oven.

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A/N: Ok…What do you think? Poor Hermione. All her books probably got burt…How will she live? Draco will just have to buy her more right? SO if you think about it, his horniness is costing him a lot of money.

See the result of my boredom and the fact that I get to go to school and hour and a half late? Wierdness…Randomness….Crazyness….

I got to go to school now. Review please!

XOXO

Flame


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